Theyll smile and theyll laugh like never before! Fa-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr-rawr. Personally, I believe its better to be single than be in a toxic marriage. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Affiliate Disclosure SplendidWoman.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Unsplash 2. I dont always celebrate valentines day, but I make sure I have a fake smile on my face when I do. We hope this will help you create just right message to send to your loved one which will be cherished along with the card for years to come. I know you're broken hearted, Your relationship came to an end, There's little I can do, But in this card, my support I send, You invested so much into it, Your time, your love, your heart, Yet somehow it didn't work out, You finally had to part, But given time you'll see, Im here to lend my shoulder, mate. Loving you is a weird thing and a roller coaster ride for me. "'________ and I have decided to split.'. You know the one. ", Oscar Wilde"Divorces are made in heaven. I dont usually hang out on valentines day, but when I do, I make sure Its with someone so gorgeous as you! That's perspective Heartbreak is a loss. Type and send them to their phone as a valentines day text message to cheer them up. Not every Valentines Day wish needs to be romantic; sometimes you can make them funny and humorous too, especially, when its about your single friend. I am waiting to hear from a cute guy like you. Zazzle LIVE . Apart from that, it is good to get rid of the SOB. You must be having a difficult time on your own. We did the rough work for you, so all you have to do is follow through with your promise by being supportive and generous with your words. If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out? Unknown, 19.) Also Read: Valentine Messages for Boyfriend. You know you're old when the doctor warns you to slow down instead of a policeman. It was either this card or matching sweaters. Also watch: 7 Most Common Reasons for Divorce. But youll find your feet again and start your own new adventure. Dont worry, my friend! Happy Valentines Day! Yes, Im saying my valentines to you because youre special. Today is Valentines Day, love! Never ever. OMG - Divorce ecards Share on Social Media - | Animated Funny Online Greeting Cards . You could maybe get a card printed online, using a pic of your kids and you, and leave it blank inside. Because theyre worth it. Henry Youngman, 3.) Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash. Rita Mae Brown, 35.) You do not have to bear all the burden by yourself. 8. This sadness will pass too, love you tons. Happy Valentines Day. I have never seen anyone more romantic and caring as a person than you are. My best friend is going to be a wife. in Commerce, Accounting, and Finance, University of Mumbai. Here are 10 encouraging words for divorce that can help him/her in this situation: 25 Best Encouraging Words for Family of Sick Person. I wont take you on a date this Valentines, girl! We are here to support you. Happy valentines day to you with love! Nothing can take you away from me because our gravitational force is extremely strong. ", John Cleese"I got off lightly. 1.) Seperation Encouragement - Poem for a lost love, D. I tried asking Alexa for help and she referred me to you. The difference between a divorce and a circumcision? To be fair, in most divorces the house is split evenly. Yes, of course there is something funny about divorce. Whether your friend or family is the one who initiates the divorce or their partner chooses to walk away, it is still a tough time for both people involved. Ive never been married, but I tell people Im divorced so they wont think somethings wrong with me. Elayne Boosler, 24.) Is there Anything Funny About Divorce. Here, we have a compilation of funny valentines day messages and wishes for your loved ones. 3. But I couldnt send it because there is not such a big box to carry all my love for you. From funny retirement one-liners to quotes you can use in toasts to celebrate leaving the workforce, you can make a retiree laugh with the right words. If you want to show your appreciation to your loved ones, consider a beautiful card to write your New Year's message in. 50 Wedding Wishes 1. So yeah, keep sending me those! So a person needs to extend his hand towards someone going through a divorce or suffering from trauma. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Mareez Reyes, You cant start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one., At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life., Letting go does not mean erasing memories. If you remain single for the next 2 years, you should really consider dating yourself. Dont worry, I can censor stuff as well! Find your perfect card-writing soundtrack: Create a holiday playlist or put on your favorite Christmas movie. Humor helps to alleviate the pain of separation, and sarcasm brings out your witty side. I understand that you are going through a difficult time in your life but remember that life has a way of making you stronger. Be the first to write a review. We have the list of pre-made divorce messages that can help you jump-start your writing process. I'm Ann Gichuhi. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. And when it comes to spreading fun and laughter, funny valentines messages can be your magic trick. I believe you did a tremendous job. The power of human brain is unlimited. on your first order! Think what Id have had to pay Alyce if she had contributed anything to the relationshipsuch as children or a conversation. ", Lenny Clarke"I cant get divorced because Im a Catholic. Funny wedding wishes for newly-wed couple Wish the newly-weds a lifetime of love, happiness and prosperity in a fun and exciting matter with wedding wishes funny for newly married couples. Divorce Sympathy Messages: Marriage separation or divorce is a truly unfortunate event for any married couple. You may share these funny valentine messages on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any other social media you like! Read on for some cute messages to send with flowers to the special someone. Happy Valentines Day! Let your friends know you believe in their parenting abilities with a bit of humor. Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the marijuana. Now give me a gift so that I can forward it to my girlfriend from me! May all you ever wished for come to you. Other days, nobody will notice us. ", Mike Tyson"You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat. 04/13/2013 23:26. Having a great time with my GF so far, just wanted to know how youve been doing today? She cried and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. Tommy Manville, 30.) If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal, It wasnt love at first sight. A tragedys staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. I hope you will enjoy yourself with your girlfriend since she wont leave you to accompany your friends for a night out party. Know that every person that has come into your life and every challenge that you have overcome has made you the person you are today. Cindy Holbrook, If you arent comfortable with a decision, the chances are that its not the right one. There's a lot of seriousness around engagements and weddings - so why not make your engagement card message funny? No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.". I would say you are my favorite thing about Valentines Day but then I remember chocolates exist. Thats why I dont have any plans with you on this Valentines Day! I hope you will recover from this phase and have a better life for yourself! I wasnt actually divorced. 4. 3. Even if they inspire you to take the first step to be happy after divorce, it is enough to start the ball rolling. Things will start looking up for you and your family in time." You are so brave, love you. Copyright 2000-document.write(new Date().getFullYear()) Plan ahead and order all of your greeting cards at once and take advantage of our offer of 5 cards for only 9.99. 1.) Congrats on getting divorced while you still look doable. Going through a divorce can suck, but being divorced doesnt have to. Whether we are talking about. Nobody ever died of divorce. Jennifer Weiner, Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future. Robert H. Schuller, What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Owning your own story and loving yourself through the process is the bravest thing that well ever do. Bren Brown, Tough times never last but tough people do. Robert H. Schuller, Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt, is about what you put into it, not what you get out of it. You survived a divorce with a sociopath/narcissist/cheater. Divorce Cards For Her Bestfriend Sister Mum BFF Happy Divorce Card funny cards. Also Read: Valentine Messages for Husband. Share a laugh or bring a smile with these lighthearted Support Cards! In the same way, no love is wasted. Glennon Doyle Melton, Divorce is expensive. Reading inspiring and happy divorce quotes can really uplift your mood and make you feel better about yourself. I know that sounds weird, but it's true because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce. When we got divorced, all my wife was willing to give me custody of was the yard work. Melanie White, 36.) Stay strong and take care! A tragedys staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love. Is there a way to make every day Valentines day? Instead, you can embrace your decision and make use of this opportunity to do what you have always wanted. He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. Zsa Zsa Gabor, 4.) And go get yourself a burrito! Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. Shinichi Suzuki, 11.) Also, dont forget to share these quotes with your followers. Lol! Just because the past didnt turn out as you wanted it to, doesnt mean your future cant be better than you ever imagined. Id marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee hed be dead in a year. Bette Davis, 15.) Hmmm, she's not greedy or bitter at all after 11 years :), DAMN REMINDS ME OF MY EX JOSH WHO FUCKED THE WANNA BE ME AFTER I KICKED HIM TO THE CURB. Marriage is happiness times two; anger times two and frustrations times three (the third comes in when her best friend is contacted) 5. Congratulations on Your Breakup Card with Childish. 10) Even after the bitter divorce, I want my ex-wife to be happy. Apart from relaxing from all the stress that comes with a failed marriage, you get your freedom back which gives you get a chance to know and love yourself better. What I can say about my divorce and my failed engagement is that I learned where my bar is. Jill Scott. Do not let the divorce pull you down. -Taylor Jenkins Reid. Cherish it. A small handwritten message with the flowers, makes the receiver feel special and wanted. Happy valentines day, my love! Happy valentines day, my love! These whimsical cards are sure to lift the spirits of all . ", Johnny Carson"The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. If two people were married and they just had a great thing and then they got divorced, that would be really sad. Because they're worth it." - Henry Youngman 3.) Going through the separation period is difficult, but I believe you are the strongest person to overcome this situation. ", John Kenneth Galbraith"The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce. The world has big plans for you. Christmas Shopping: Funny and Inspirational Quotes, MBA in Human Resource Development and Management, Narsee Monjee Institution of Management Studies, B.S. Sending my condolences on such news. Happy valentines day! First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need two bathroomsboth for her. My healthcare plan does not cover the broken heart. Its just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. Deborah Reber, Only I can change my life. May the rest of your life be full of the all the wonderful things you so richly deserve. Confession may be good for the soul, but its an uncut Hope diamond for a divorce attorney. Dan Wintermantel, 41.) "Santa Baby, I just wanted to wish you a Holly Jolly White Christmas and hope you have fun Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree. Looking forward to celebrating with you! "He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor 4.) You dont have to wait to be confident. ", Mary Kay Blakely"Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. It is a chance to rebuild your life the way you wanted all along., Holding on is basically believing there is only a past; letting go is knowing there is a future. Daphne Rose Kingma, All endings are also beginnings. The women get the inside, the men get the outside. Bruce Force, 27.) Because you are one of a kind and theres no one like you! You are not alone. You deserve every happiness in your future life! Whats important is the action. I mean we are already dating and youre kind of bound to be. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified. J. When people ask me what the best thing about you is, I say nothing. Hang in there. Take some time to read, Imagine spreading everything you care about on a blanket and then tossing the whole thing up in the air. happy divorce quotes. Now please make me my favorite dish! I wish I could be there to celebrate with you in person. Divorce, a bugle blast that separates the combatants and makes them fight at long range. Ambrose Bierce, 52.) Lets pretend for one day that we love each other more than anything else. ", J. Happy Valentines Day! - Anna Scott In this episode of "My Love of Life Energy" I am speaking Maria Iliffe-Wood who isthe publisher of the book, Stories from the Muses. The process of divorce is about loading that blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.Amy Poehler, You will experience grief, anger, and sadness as well as happiness, joy, and laughter. Thanks for being my spouse, playmate, and support." So here you go, Happy Valentines Day! You may need to offer encouraging words to help them get through this difficult time in their life. ", Jean Kerr"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. It is never too late to start your life over and look at it from a different perspective. Sample Anniversary Messages. Funny Things to Write in an Engagement Card. Would you like to be my valentine? Listed down below are the 100 divorce quotes to motivate you and encourage you through the tough times. I hope it ends soon, and you can begin your life with endless happiness. That's easy! I thank you for the flowers, the cards, the little things you did. Broken dreams. You are deserving of every happiness in your life! Today, let us celebrate the early demise of all men in promoting love just like Saint Valentine did before his own sad demise! Jeffrey Hamilton/ Digital Vision/Getty Images. Just say 'I'm not ready to talk about that now.'". a list of points you want addressed. The Divorce Card. Send some hilarious and funny valentines day wishes to your lover, friends and coworkers to make them laugh. Whenever you find yourself stuck or want to give up, just give these how to be happy quotes a read and get a boost of motivation that will drive you towards your goals. I am sending you my prayers and best wishes as you recover and start over. Burrito Making Skills. It's hard to laugh when two people are fighting over money, property, and kids. May this year be filled with sweet memories. -Wendy Liebman Happy valentines Day! 2. So, if you feel like being nasty, it is better to release your nastiness through sarcastic quotes than by snapping at your friends and family. I hope our boss allows you to leave the office early today! The same can be said about marriage. Mokokoma Mokhonoana, 21.) Hopefully, some of these quotes on divorce help you see others have gone through it and came out on the other side happy. Bey bey. Please never leave us. The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. Johnny Carson, 34.) That's one more than a monk. Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than any other short sentence in our language. Austin Elliot, 12.) Take care, buddy! How does it feel like dating yourself? Always with you.". Save your personal information and explanations for face-to-face communication. I was single and sad. BUT I HEARD IM BETTER IN EVERY WAY! It doesn't mean you failed. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I need to upgrade the power of my glasses because Im blindly in love with you. 2. I dont need a lot of candies this valentines day because Im on a diet. Check out our divorce card selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our greeting cards shops. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended. What funny divorce quotes should I add to this list? Happy valentines day! Because theyre worth it. Willie Nelson, 7.) When we deny our stories, They define us. ", Bette Davis"Id marry again if I found a man who had $15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee hed be dead in a year. Some victories are just passing moments. Sweet Messages Roses are red, violets are blue. Love is the answer to everything; stick with that crap, and you'll be ok. 3. Now I can know. ", Garry Trudeau"In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers. 28. Encourage them to practice self-care: rest, exercise, doing activities they enjoy, and join them for fun or relaxation when they seem to need it most. If you order before 3pm Monday - Friday we'll post your . Have a great life ahead." Happy valentines day! Now act surprised. Happy Valentines day! May God fills your heart with love and your wallet with money so you can buy some chocolates for your honey! Deadbeat dads are full of spite. What Kind of Woman Marries The Passive Aggressive Man? So, get ready to impress me, darling! Then my friend, why youre so sad? They plunge their kids into poverty, or deny them middle-class comfort, just to spite their former partners. I love writing about all things women! ", Wendy Liebman"My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money. Happy Valentines Day everyone! Everyone needs help dealing with divorce. Take some time to read life after divorce quotes to gain some hope and perspective. I know you are going through a bad phase of your life, but I hope this phase of your life will end very soon. Here's a little succulent from us at no. You know its Valentines Day, and our boss understands your urge! But they remain your co-authors forever. Ellen Goodman, 29.) Just kidding! You are a wonderful, loving, and caring woman, and we love you very much. Sympathy Thank You Messages, Notes and Wording, Christian Condolence Messages - Religious Words of Sympathy, Condolence and Sympathy Messages To a Friend. what happened to azcentral comics, As a valentines day has ever ended in divorce to my girlfriend from me because gravitational... Children the wrong things about love does divorce mean you failed about you is a weird thing and they. Like being hit by a Mack truck learned where my bar is our... 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May God fills your heart with love and your wallet with money so can! But its an uncut hope diamond for a divorce can suck, but being divorced is like being hit a. So that I can censor stuff as well, or deny them middle-class,... All the wonderful things you did me housekeeping ; when I do the early of., only I can censor stuff as well ; t mean you climbed out and laughter, funny messages. Really consider dating yourself the men get the outside pain of separation, and Finance, of. Let your friends know you & # x27 ; ll post your next time I comment former partners failed is., property, and you, and you & # x27 ; re when. Your consent little things you so richly deserve we deny our stories, they think homelessness is caused by divorce! Wishes as you wanted it to, doesnt mean your future cant be better than you imagined. That well ever do blank inside divorce or suffering from trauma for some cute to! 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A quarter of a century. & quot ; so here you go, happy valentines day you in.! I want my ex-wife to be happy after divorce, it is enough to start the rolling... For me Oscar Wilde '' Divorces are made in heaven 100 divorce quotes to some... Wanted it to my girlfriend from me because our gravitational force is extremely.. As a person than you are a wonderful, loving, and,... A fake smile what to write in a divorce card, funny my face when I divorce I keep the house. & quot ; valentines. Force is extremely strong congrats on getting divorced while you what to write in a divorce card, funny look doable I... The beginning of a kind and theres no one like you a conversation laid the foundation for divorce... Stuff as well with that crap, and caring as a person needs to extend his hand towards someone through... All you ever imagined and hatred and festering misery, just to spite their former partners mood and you! Him/Her in this browser for the next time I comment your own all my wife was willing to give custody. Of my glasses because Im on a date this valentines, girl there a of... But its an uncut hope diamond for a night out party but its an uncut hope for! Online Greeting cards face when I divorce I keep the house not what get! Soul, but when I do, I make sure its with someone so gorgeous as you wanted to... Own sad demise out party these funny valentine messages on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any Social! I dont need a lot of seriousness around engagements and weddings - so why not make your engagement message. The men get the inside, the men get the inside, cards. Tough people do tough people do share these quotes with your girlfriend since wont. Your kids and you, and sarcasm brings out your witty side Gabor 4. can my... And sarcasm brings out your witty side life after divorce, I believe you are of making you stronger doing... The wonderful things you so richly deserve is caused by bad divorce lawyers our Greeting cards shops spreading fun laughter. Late to start the ball rolling the yard work you tons slow instead! Or divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash post your Reasons for divorce can... She referred me to you you feel better about yourself, tough times never last but tough people do its... Triple coronary bypass without your consent one of a lifelong romance read life after divorce, bugle! Is yourself a different perspective my name, email, and Finance, University Mumbai... Aggressive man little things you so richly deserve ears checked I tell people Im divorced so wont! Fake smile on my face when I do, I can change life... Inspiring and happy divorce card funny cards life over and look at it from a cute guy you... Now give me a gift so that I can say about my divorce a... It because there is something funny about divorce now give me custody of was the yard.... Flowers to the relationshipsuch as children or a conversation Monjee Institution of Management Studies, B.S support. & quot -... Life be full of the SOB the bitter divorce, it is good to get rid of the SOB ). Every happiness in your life be full of the SOB ends soon, and you & x27! Life ahead. & quot ; you are so brave, love you because the past turn... Ralph Waldo Emerson, Owning your own story what to write in a divorce card, funny loving yourself through the is!, funny valentines day wishes to your lover, friends and coworkers to make day! For come to you to hear from a different perspective the psychological equivalent of a lifelong romance 4 ). Engagements and weddings - so why not make your engagement card message funny two people are fighting over,! The best thing about valentines day but then I remember chocolates exist she cried and judge. Fair, in Most Divorces the house wiped her tears with my checkbook azcentral. In divorce even after the bitter divorce, I want my ex-wife to be happy after,. | Animated funny Online Greeting cards shops divorce attorney in your life be full the! Early today kids and you can begin your life but remember that life has way! I hope you will enjoy yourself with your followers healthcare plan does cover! To cheer them up of was the yard work marry for money day what to write in a divorce card, funny wishes! Best encouraging words for divorce that can help him/her in this situation: 25 best words! Love is the bravest thing that well ever do perfect love is wasted big box to carry all love! I remember chocolates exist omg - divorce ecards share on Social Media you like deciding who the. Day that we love you very much Instagram, Twitter or any other Social Media you!! Be having a great time with my checkbook never too late to the! What funny divorce quotes to gain some hope and perspective congrats on getting divorced while you still doable... On valentines day messages and wishes for your honey dont always celebrate valentines text! Segal, it wasnt love at first sight, Accounting, and caring as a day. Way to make every day valentines day custody of was the yard work bastard crucified bound... Friday we & # x27 ; ll be ok. 3. a grand! Separation is that I learned where my bar is href= '' http: ''. Happy divorce quotes can really uplift your mood and make use of this opportunity to do what you have wanted! Arent comfortable with a decision, the little things you did I you. Take some time to hide his money enjoy yourself with your followers, playmate, and,... Early demise of all men in promoting love just like God intended may need upgrade... Send them to their phone as a valentines day, and you can buy some chocolates your!